well this is all just great

so sunday i worked from 630am-745pm, with a few breaks, BUT STILL. at least the a/c in my bowl office is working again, since it has been so hot and HUMID. there isnt supposed to be humidity in LA, or so says BEM. i think he's full of it. anyhow, yes working was a delight and all that and when i locked up my office/bungalow nothing unusual was apparent.

cut to this morning and an infestation of ANTS. the main door threshold is COVERED with ants. the baseboard near the watercooler? ANTS. so i cant even fill up my nalgene without hearing the crunch of hundreds of ants beneath my brand new and spotless prada soles (btw, first pair of prada shoes ever and these are the only dress shoes i've worn that feel already broken in! those crafty italians). luckily, i work upstairs and there do not seem to be any ants yet.

what makes the ants disturbing though is the guy who sits downstairs. so when you walk in, it is like a living room (this was a house originally) and this guy who will be known as marty sits there. marty is great and like 100 years old. still though, among the bizarre things he does would include him feeding/putting food out for the FERAL CATS in the park. wtf? every morning i walk in, there is some FERAL CAT charging at me because the cat is scared to death of me, AS IT SHOULD BE, but marty FEEDS THE CATS, so they clearly like him. anyhow, he loves animals and all that BS, so he WASNT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THE ANTS. finally after two hours i was like "did you call an exterminator??"

"well, i'll give them a day to see if they disappear"

"A DAY? what if they come upstairs?!?!"

"well i called operations, so the bug guy cant come until tomorrow"

"but you called, right? THEY WILL BE GONE RIGHT?"

"oh sure, i just dont want to unnecessarily kill animals"

"these arent animals."

cut to 20 minutes ago as i walk down the hallway to the bathroom and a LIZARD is running on the floor away from me.

like i said, well this is all just great.

the roommate

so as you may have guessed, i made the move to LA. the circumstances for the move were hurried to say the least. i spent much of april and may being flown about the country for various jobs in los angeles, san frncisco, new york, boston, chicago, phoenix and tuscon. the job i held out for though is the one i got. however i was firm on not starting before july 1, and they wanted me to start june 1. but since they held off so long to give me the job, i was able to negotiate more time, and at the end of it all they simply threw lots of money at the problem saying fine, lets do the middle of the month and heres all this money to "move" with.

when i got the job offer on the thursday before memorial day though, i had to fly out that saturday to find an apartment. i was set on subletting for at least 6 months or a year since i didnt have time to find a suitable place in such a short time period. i settled on a charming duplex in the heart of west hollywood that is really quite nice, and the common areas have two story vaulted ceilings, and a garage parking spot...and a very, umm, continental roomate.

her name is jacqueline (pronounce 'zhak-leen' of course) who speaks with a very affected british/continental accent which is quite bizarre. or, bizzahre. she is in her early 40s, plenty nice and all that, just weird. and i'm one to speak!

she wrote into my lease that she shall have access to my bathroom's bathtub to draw a bath from time to time at times that are convenient to my schedule ie when i am at work. fine, i dont really care, i'm at work after all. but i find her medium-length, red-dyed hair on my aveda shampoo on occasion, which i dont mind if she uses...JUST KEEP YOUR HAIR OFF IT. i have a thing about hair (see: weird, up above). plus if you have ever lived with a woman, you know how their long hair just gets EVERYWHERE. it is something i had to deal with as a kid since my sister had long hair and we shared a bathroom until 6th grade.

so many fun stories, and we are only here less than a month so far! on the 4th of july she asked what i was doing. i said i had some business i had to do up at the hollywood bowl, so i couldnt actually sit for the concert with her and her friend. in reality i did work that DAY and ended up at a few bbq's...then later went home around 8pm with my friend so i could change before going out. i hear her call from her bedroom "is that you?"

(sounding near death--and british/continental)

"i cant make it tonight with my girlfriend, i've come down with this incredible flu"

"wow, it sure has taken hold quite fast hasnt it?"

"yes, quite."

"well i'm here with my friend to change and head back up to the bowl, i'll talk with you later...FEEL BETTER!!!!"

she sounded like she had some serious case of sudden-onset dropsy or something. so since then her constitution has been strengthened by a vigorous regime of tea, vitamins, odd herbs from the overly priced grocery store gelsons, and an 11pm juicing routine.

the chick is odd.

oop

i tried to change a formatting thing, and my blog basically exploded.

HOLD for technical shenanigans