hilariao

so i am sitting here at my desk whilst waiting for a high school friend who lives in the VALLEY to get her ass here to the bowl, so we may take in beethoven's 9th tonight. well when in my office i stream WQXR which is the classical station of the new york times, and each evening they have a programme called "symphony hall" which featured tonight among other works, schumann symphony no. 3 "the rhenish" symphony as performed by the san fran symphony and michael tilson thomas ("MTT"). funnily MTT is conducting tonight here at the bowl.

MORE funnily as the symphony ended, the dj says:

that was the third symphony by robert schumann, the rhenish. its sort of funny because just four years later he would throw himself into the rhein river in an attempted suicide, only to be later institutionalized where he would die only two years later. umm, maybe funny is the wrong word.

YOU THINK? anyhow, its more amusing because he was insane most likely due to the mercury poisoning he had as a result of being treated for syphillis--for which mercury was a common prescription in those days.

just thought you'd like to know. as for the picture? well who doesnt love a nicole kidman as she is about to whisper shout "DRIIIIVE."

yawn

i woke up today, less hungover than normal, and dreaded the thought of coming to work today. true, i normally feel a fair amount of suicidal tendencies when its 4am, but still. i dragged my butt down to my car to make the very easy drive downtown for a 515am bikram class. i am starting a challenge this week whereby i plan on going 22 times by september 1. now, its not as rigourous a programme as the typical challenge which is 26 classes in 30 days, but its close enough.

yesterday after watching the hours (so now ben knows all our references thereto) and big brother, and finishing 1.5bottles of wine (THANKS GUYS) i got home, showered all nice and headed to o bar to see the waiter that i like. i think he's good for a friend--because honestly, attractive waiters are a dime a dozen and i think "oh, he's cute....but he's a waiter. hmm, i'd probably have to pay for everything" so dating a waiter is, for me, not a possibility. i mean what would we do? WALK? anyhow, went to o bar, and some other guys came up and started talking with me, and this one guy got me going on arrested development so we had a RIOT of a time re-hashing scenes about buster.

it really is a great show.

and i told the waiter about what mother asked me last weekend. so the other weekend when the parents were here, we ate at o bar, because its just down the street from le casa. well the waiter, zach, was waiting on us and i knew him just from him having waited on me a handful of times before. WELL i thought he was a bit more eye-contacty than normal that night. fast forward a few days and mother and i are walking back from gelsons:

mom: so did you know that guy from the other night?
me: what night?
mom: when we were at dinner at o, something
me: no, why.
mom: well i thought you...knew him. there was just a lot of direct eye contact
me: MOM! no, he has just waited on me before

so that was weird. but at the end of the night (around 11pm) i walked down to get a few slices since i knew last night would be the last hurrah of treating my body like jacqueline treats her striped hot pants--ie HORRIBLY. got my slices, walked over to the abbey to get a cab back. what, did you think i was going to walk back?

thats a shame

so #2 sends me a text this morning to let me know a casual friend of ours was hit by a car! the text read "oh, and barrett was hit by a car."


oh, OKAY. that clears it up. apparently he had a seizure walking on the street, fell, got hit. luckily he was out of the hospital after one evening--but still, how scary. incidentally this is the second friend of mine to be nailed by a car. the other guy i dated briefly, and he was hit and killed two months later. this is why i like subways.

today is a good day. i got in around 6am, headed up to rehearsal at 9 to listen a bit to the beethoven piano concerto that is being performed this evening, and i'm excited for it. plus i'll bring my parents for a bit of the concert tonight since their arrival into LA is imminent. what else i'll do with them is unclear, but i am headed to colorado on saturday for my 10yr HS reunion which should be amusing given that my four good high school friends are attending--including crazy vanessa.

those starbucks people i made fun of yesterday? well this morning after the rehearsal, i went to starbucks and after ordering i realised i forgot my wallet! i tried to cancel my order but the girl was like "oh no, thats ok, i rememebr you--just get us next time." that was nice but the line "-just get us next time" annoyed me, its like the guys on craigslist who are like "hit me back, brah."

speaking of craigslist--we can be sure padma and gail wouldnt approve.

give us your weak, your tired (keep the poor)

ok, what the fuck is up with the starbucks people in los angeles? so i have never subscribed to the brain washing of the franchise in their concept of naming the smallest drink a TALL and a medium a grande, which is really large in french is it? i go by the much more pedestrian coding system of: small/medium/large. simple, no?

WELL in nyc i was easily able to get away with it, and the barista/actor would convert my order which is usually a "large non-fat two-pump iced mocha" into a "venti non-fat two-pump mocha, whipped cream?" i was always impressed much like i am when i go to montreal and order a combo meal at wendy's and the checkout person speaks into the mic IN FRENCH. oh how much better my single combo tastes when processed IN FRENCH.

but the starbucks barista/actor, a french canadian s/he is not. and lately around these parts i have been getting ATTITUDE from them.

"large iced americano please"

"i'm sorry? LARGE? ummm...."

"yes, large"

"ok, ummm"

"THAT ONE" (pointing to cup)

"OH, a VENTI!!!! haaaa!!!"

another time:

"large iced americano please"

"ok, VENTI americano"

"thats all"

"you said VENTI right?"

"no, i said large."

"oh, haha, well a venti IS a large"

seriously, go fuck yourself, its 520AM and i am getting to work. JUST GIVE ME MY GODDAMN SHOTS OF ESPRESSO.

talk to the hand

yesterday was a very rough day at the professional thingy. meeting after meeting after metting left me completely exhausted by 5pm and at one point i truly feared that if someone gave me one more piece of information, my head might explode.

i even took a seat at reception in between meetings for a third part of a minute hence--and the receptionist asked "is everything ok?" because i was sort of staring blankly ahead trying to calm, organize and file my mental accordion file of notes. this is what happens when you have four meetings with no time scheduled between. oops!

finally, when i headed home around 7 or so, i kept my digits crossed that jacqueline wouldnt be home. alas, pulling into the parking garage i saw her car (a 1980's chevy cavalier convertible) and thought OH GREAT. luckily as i got out, and was closing my trunk i saw her step off the lift and was walking to her car.

"hi jacqueline"

"what? oh, hi hiii"

"how are you"

"hmm? oh, sorry, i am trying to prepare for my theater group which i am headed to"

"oh, ok, well have a good--"

"sorry, i REALLY need to prepare"

EWWW. ok, so its SMALL TALK, and if you were trying to prepare, you should have done that ALL DAY WHEN YOU WERE AT HOME NOT WORKING.

besides, if she is a bit underprepared, i'm sure james earl jones, al pacino and meryl streep wont mind--i mean it is such an important theater group, i'm sure.

other than that, i went to get my cleaning who charged me $3.25 per shirt to be DRY CLEANED and pressed. i have made my feelings on illegal aliens well know (YOU ARE ALL ILLEGAL TO ME) and jesus, you should be able to understand "wash and press" if you work in, you know, a LAUNDROMAT.

well this is all just great

so sunday i worked from 630am-745pm, with a few breaks, BUT STILL. at least the a/c in my bowl office is working again, since it has been so hot and HUMID. there isnt supposed to be humidity in LA, or so says BEM. i think he's full of it. anyhow, yes working was a delight and all that and when i locked up my office/bungalow nothing unusual was apparent.

cut to this morning and an infestation of ANTS. the main door threshold is COVERED with ants. the baseboard near the watercooler? ANTS. so i cant even fill up my nalgene without hearing the crunch of hundreds of ants beneath my brand new and spotless prada soles (btw, first pair of prada shoes ever and these are the only dress shoes i've worn that feel already broken in! those crafty italians). luckily, i work upstairs and there do not seem to be any ants yet.

what makes the ants disturbing though is the guy who sits downstairs. so when you walk in, it is like a living room (this was a house originally) and this guy who will be known as marty sits there. marty is great and like 100 years old. still though, among the bizarre things he does would include him feeding/putting food out for the FERAL CATS in the park. wtf? every morning i walk in, there is some FERAL CAT charging at me because the cat is scared to death of me, AS IT SHOULD BE, but marty FEEDS THE CATS, so they clearly like him. anyhow, he loves animals and all that BS, so he WASNT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT THE ANTS. finally after two hours i was like "did you call an exterminator??"

"well, i'll give them a day to see if they disappear"

"A DAY? what if they come upstairs?!?!"

"well i called operations, so the bug guy cant come until tomorrow"

"but you called, right? THEY WILL BE GONE RIGHT?"

"oh sure, i just dont want to unnecessarily kill animals"

"these arent animals."

cut to 20 minutes ago as i walk down the hallway to the bathroom and a LIZARD is running on the floor away from me.

like i said, well this is all just great.

the roommate

so as you may have guessed, i made the move to LA. the circumstances for the move were hurried to say the least. i spent much of april and may being flown about the country for various jobs in los angeles, san frncisco, new york, boston, chicago, phoenix and tuscon. the job i held out for though is the one i got. however i was firm on not starting before july 1, and they wanted me to start june 1. but since they held off so long to give me the job, i was able to negotiate more time, and at the end of it all they simply threw lots of money at the problem saying fine, lets do the middle of the month and heres all this money to "move" with.

when i got the job offer on the thursday before memorial day though, i had to fly out that saturday to find an apartment. i was set on subletting for at least 6 months or a year since i didnt have time to find a suitable place in such a short time period. i settled on a charming duplex in the heart of west hollywood that is really quite nice, and the common areas have two story vaulted ceilings, and a garage parking spot...and a very, umm, continental roomate.

her name is jacqueline (pronounce 'zhak-leen' of course) who speaks with a very affected british/continental accent which is quite bizarre. or, bizzahre. she is in her early 40s, plenty nice and all that, just weird. and i'm one to speak!

she wrote into my lease that she shall have access to my bathroom's bathtub to draw a bath from time to time at times that are convenient to my schedule ie when i am at work. fine, i dont really care, i'm at work after all. but i find her medium-length, red-dyed hair on my aveda shampoo on occasion, which i dont mind if she uses...JUST KEEP YOUR HAIR OFF IT. i have a thing about hair (see: weird, up above). plus if you have ever lived with a woman, you know how their long hair just gets EVERYWHERE. it is something i had to deal with as a kid since my sister had long hair and we shared a bathroom until 6th grade.

so many fun stories, and we are only here less than a month so far! on the 4th of july she asked what i was doing. i said i had some business i had to do up at the hollywood bowl, so i couldnt actually sit for the concert with her and her friend. in reality i did work that DAY and ended up at a few bbq's...then later went home around 8pm with my friend so i could change before going out. i hear her call from her bedroom "is that you?"

(sounding near death--and british/continental)

"i cant make it tonight with my girlfriend, i've come down with this incredible flu"

"wow, it sure has taken hold quite fast hasnt it?"

"yes, quite."

"well i'm here with my friend to change and head back up to the bowl, i'll talk with you later...FEEL BETTER!!!!"

she sounded like she had some serious case of sudden-onset dropsy or something. so since then her constitution has been strengthened by a vigorous regime of tea, vitamins, odd herbs from the overly priced grocery store gelsons, and an 11pm juicing routine.

the chick is odd.

oop

i tried to change a formatting thing, and my blog basically exploded.

HOLD for technical shenanigans